I Scream....

I've been trying all day to write a blog to express what I'm feeling. During my most recent breakdown session, I took some pictures. I'll let those do the talking for me...because I just can't find those perfect words this time.

Snuggling with Baby's Teddy.

These are the only kisses i get.

Snuggling with my Baby Bells.

Snuggling Baby Bear and A Little Boy Onsie.

A Baby Bear, And Teeny Tiny Baby Socks.

Tears Over My Baby G. Mommy Misses You.

These are the only snuggles i get.

Holding Both Of My Angels.

Grief is a hateful, horrible thing. It doesn't discriminate, it doesn't care if you're not ready. It has no measure of time, or hurt, it moves in and stays as long as it needs to. There's no getting rid of it once it's here, all you can do is muddle through it, and hope you'll be ok. Its raw, and its real, and its hard. If you survive it, they say you are lucky...if you don't...they say you are weak. This week, i'm going to give myself to the grief. Let it take me, let it hold me, let it consume me, and hope that it will let me go. There must be some rain in order to find the rainbow, and as my teardrops fall, there is surely rain here.

Rest in peace sweet angels. I'll surely hold you any way I can, and your pictures serve as a memory of what once was mine. I'll never forget you, and i'll wait patiently until the day that i meet you again. Take care of each other, and love as strong and hard as mommy loved you. We'll be together soon.