Bubbles to Heaven

3 year olds are full of wonder and curiosity, arent they? I guess i shouldnt have supposed my three year old would prove to be any different. I find he sees and hears a lot more than i thought he did, because he constantly tells me things i think he shouldnt know. Recently, in the midst of our day to day life, my 3 year old,  the Troll, with his brother, The Imp in tow, stops cold with a serious look on his face and says to me, "Mommy, is my sister in the sky?" I choked up a bit but managed a response. "Yes, baby. Your sister is in the sky. She's in heaven, a beautiful angel now." He thought on this for a minute and then just nodded his head. Satisfied that i had put his worried little head to rest, we went about the rest of our day. Now, my baby boy loves to blow bubbles. It can occupy him for hours, and i've never actually understood it. On this day, the Troll and his brother have been frantically blowing bubbles for some time now, and i decide i should probably figure out what all the fuss is about. I walk outside, and touch his shoulder and he jumps. He was so focused on what he was doing, that he hardly noticed me. I asked him what they was doing, to which he replied, "Blowing bubbles." He said it in a tone that told me "duh mom". When i asked him what he was so worked up about he told me they were blowing bubbles to the sky. I braced myself, seeing where this was going. "why?" i asked him. The innocent eyes of a three year old looked up into mine and said "We're blowing them to Abella, mommy." I knew he was talking about his sister, for some reason he's always called her "abella" instead of "bella" like we do. I realized then that we are all dealing with the loss of this little life in a different way. I cope with the loss of my daughter, a life anticipated and nurtured yet never quite ours. And I deal with this by talking to her, by talking about her. By looking at pictures and remembering her. Her brothers are coping with the loss of a sister. A sister they never really knew, or understood, yet she was there. They deal with this by looking at her pictures, coloring her pictures....and in the true innocence of their age, blowing bubbles to heaven.