Co-parenting is hard!

Life these days is complicated. I find myself often bogged down with entirely too much to think about, and never really figuring any of it out. Today presents me with a problem that I don't think I'll ever really have the answer to. The troll's bio dad and barbie are expecting their first child. Well-her first child, his second (obviously). She's over the moon about it, and he is too, and despite my adamant requests, they told the troll that he is to have a little brother/sister.The troll still hasn't quite figured out what happened to his little sister Bells, and now thinks that all new babies go to Heaven, particularly sisters. For this reason, he's pretty set that he DOESNT want this baby to be a girl. Now, my troll doesn't quite know what to think about the whole situation, and i know this because....well, i know my baby. He's excited because the people around him are excited, but he's not exactly sure how all of this effects him. Today, he took the opportunity while we were alone to have a conversation with me.

Troll: Mommy, Sarah Dawn has a baby in her tummy.
Me: Yes, that's true, she does.
Troll: Is it my sister?
Me: I'm not sure yet. It could be a little boy.
Troll: But if its a girl...
Me: Ok, if its a girl....
Troll: Does that mean Bella is coming down from her cloud?
Me: No, baby. Bella is an angel, and always will be. This baby will belong to Ricer and Sarah, and not to me. But, you never know. It could be a boy too, and then you will have a brother.
Troll: But i already have one of those. Logan is my brother.
Me: Yes, that's true.
Troll: So why do i need more?
Me: You dont NEED more, but that's not really in your control, now is it?
Troll: No, i guess its not. But mommy..?
Me: Yes?
Troll: Will the baby come out of Sarah's tummy?
Me: Yup, just the same way you came out of mine.
Troll: And daddy ricer and sarah dawn and the baby will be a family?
Me: That they will.
Troll: And you, and me, and daddy, and brother will be a family?
Me: We already are.
Troll: And where will nana be?
Me: Nana will be in both of our families.
Troll: And Papa Rich?
Me: And Papa Rich.
Troll: Will they miss me in alamogordo, mommy?
Me: I'm sure they already do, love.
Troll: Ok, mommy. I love you.
Me: i love you too, J.

And off he ran, into his room to wake up his brother. My little guy is not quite sure what to think of this new baby and how it is going to effect his life as he knows it. In talking to him, not just this time, but many other times, his fear seems to be, as well as mine, is that his Ricer is going to be so focused on this new baby, that he's going to forget about the one he already has. And to be honest, it wouldn't effect me too much if they didn't have a relationship. I know it would totally destroy my relationship with Momma, and likely Jason's too, which is why, in the past, when I've wanted to call him out for all the things he's done wrong, and keep that baby close to me, and away from the possibility of hurt, I didn't do it. The person who it would effect, is Jason. Because Jason---despite all the wrong doing, and the times he's been hurt, and left out, and upset, does not see the wrong in that man. All he sees is a man that cares about...a man whose time he will take...whenever he can get it. But after 4 years of being virtually absent in his life....at what point am i obligated as his mother to say, enough is enough? When do i have to start shielding my growing little boy from the hurt that comes with such inconsistency? Oh i don't know what to do...i guess I'll let it play out and see what happens, knowing that I'll have to make it stop at some point...if it continues. I'm playing it by ear, one day at a time, hoping that he doesn't get hurt, but having the feeling he will. I'm just like any other mother i guess. Intense, fierce maternal instincts...the need to protect...even if there is not yet anything to protect from. All i can really do is sit back, and guard my young, until the time comes when i have to take my claws out. Why is growing up so hard?