Arrite, I'll admit it. I'm nervous. Really nervous. Its been several years since I've had a job. I'm not sure I'm even still GOOD at this stuff anymore. I'd like to think I am, that its like riding a bike, but its really hard to know for sure. Don't get me wrong though, I'm very excited about the idea of having a job. This is going to be something that is just mine. It doesn't involve D, or the boys, its just for me. Its mine to be either really good at or really bad at, but whatever I do, I'm taking it on alone....and that's a pretty big deal. In addition to that, I'm hoping it gets me out of this slump I'm in, and past the ho-hum, hum-drum of the day to day life I'm living now. It'll definitely be something that is going to take a toll, on me though. I'm just not used to being away from my boys anymore. They are all I have, the center of gravity in my life. I'm not sure how well i'll handle not seeing them so much. I'm not so sure how they're going to handle it either. In addition to going to work, I'll also still be tackling school full time. I know, it sounds like a lot to handle. I'm an Admin assistant from 0830-1600, and then from 1800-2200 I'm a student. From 2200-0730, I'm a mommy. And that's what my weeks will be like. The weekends will be full of squeezing in time with my babies...I'm not totally sure how it's going to work, I don't feel like I'm going to see them very much...i hope they still know how much i love and care about them, even though i'm not here all the time. The imp has a total meltdown when i have to leave for school, i hope he doesn't freak out about being left at daycare. I totally nailed the job interview though, which was awesome. I kind of feel sorry for the other lady, since they told me that they weren't even going to bother interviewing her, because i was so impressive. (I'm glad i got my interview FIRST! lol) Now my head is full of the future, trying to figure things out, and LOTS of shopping. Clothes to buy, and things to decorate my office. That's right....i have my own office. NOT a cubicle, or a space, i have an OFFICE. ahaha! I love that. Free to decorate however i want, and free to put pictures of my babies all over the place. i LOVE it. This is a pretty big step for me, with lots of opportunity. After 90 days, i'll get a pay raise, and full benefits, and that's pretty awesome. So--yea, i'm nervous. But i guess i just have to jump into this thing head first, and know that I can only be as good as i am. And that something about me has to have stood out if i got this job in the first place. I just have to remember that everything happens for a reason, and this is what's best for me and those boys...so i have to make it work. Failure is not an option.
"Do or Do Not. There Is No Try."
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